3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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