Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
