Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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