Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am available for nakedness
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize