I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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