sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
