Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
