i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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