If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
