God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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