she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
