So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
