Kiss
Puke
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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