Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
