I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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