my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize