she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
