her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
