the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
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When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
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I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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