I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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