The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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