My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
