is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
