his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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