things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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