And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
