It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize