that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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