sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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