I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
