i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
how does that bad decision feel?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
