it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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