mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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