I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
do nipples grow back?
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