Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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