i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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