dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
