Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
