Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
