I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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