I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
