He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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