Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
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Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
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He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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