Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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