We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
