yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
