You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
