I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
