I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I currently don't understand fingers.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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