we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
