i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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