shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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