whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
