thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You were trust falling into bushes
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
