Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
kristin has been a bad kristin
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
