also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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