Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
