First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
