so that wasnt chicken after all
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
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Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
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soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize