So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
