Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
