Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
