Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
