You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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