it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
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