You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
