Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
